Honest Omer

By Harrington A Lackey

Omer Gann was Baton Rouge, Louisiana's finest money advisor until a young driver who was playing with his Smartphone crashed his new sporty Camaro Iroc into Omer's old Ford pickup. Although his body didn't sustain much injury, he died instantly. Paramedics arrived ten minutes later and tried to revive him, but couldn't. They gently picked up Omer and placed him inside the ambulance.

Although doctors examined him, Omer was dead. Then he was taken to the morgue. His family members who consisted of Judy, his wife and their two sons, Bryan and Alex, were called about Omer's death. They arrived at the hospital just ahead of friends who had already heard about the tragedy.

Omer grew up and went to school in Baton Rouge. He attended Louisiana State University where he studied accounting in the 1980s. When four years of study were over, he graduated Magna Cum Laude. Once he graduated, he married his college sweetheart, Judy and had a family. He knew so much about taxes and personal investing, he already had many clients when he started his own tax preparation business.

He was honest to a fault, so people called him "Honest Omer", or "Honest" for short. He always gave great financial advice to those who trusted him. Between January to April he was busy with taxes; everybody wanted him to do their taxes and he graciously obliged them. However, he got overloaded and burst into some kind of nervous obsession that drove him to count and count many more times if everyone got their Federal and State taxes done and sent to the IRS.

Omer died on April 12. Oddly enough, his funeral took place on April 15 to honor him on Tax Day. After his coffin had been placed over the six-foot hole, his pastor read several passages from the Bible. Pastor Tom Bufford talked about Omer Gann's life as an honest person people could count on with their money. Bufford continued to glorify Omer as a dedicated tax specialist.

Bufford said, "On this day - April 15, the day all taxes are due, we commemorate Omer Gann... " Suddenly, the coffin began to shake. Omer fell out and got up quickly. Everyone's facial expression turned to horror. Then, Omer said, "I forgot to do my taxes!!" and he ran off.

It has been said there are two certainties in life: death and taxes. But in Omer Gann's case, only one exists - taxes.