Reflection As Understanding

By Jonathan Ike Isaacson

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." - S�ren Kierkegaard, 1843

There is tremendous value in reflection that is either misunderstood or unrecognized in today's society... that is obvious here in the United States by how we treat one another, right? Well, may I remind you that the great poet Antoine de Saint-Exup�ry stated, "To live is to be born slowly." That ideology, that we are all essentially students constantly learning until we die, does not mesh well with the society we know here in the US.

Entering into a reflective practice or habit can be extremely beneficial by allowing learners (all of us) to find relevancy and meaning in a lesson, make connections between both educational experiences and real life situations, and allow for genuine interpersonal growth. Experiential education, the art of making experiences relevant for yourself and others, helps to open students' minds, provide insights, and creates numerous pathways to future learning. To others outside of the experiential education loop, reflection barely exists. Experiential education encourages peer review; called "affirmations of behavior," reflection on peer behaviors and they can be either positive or negative. Positive and negative affirmations of behavior give students feedback from the individuals they spend time with; professionally and personally. Consider this as a drone, that hovers above you and allows you to see exactly how you behave and act... well if and when society catches on. With this feedback, students can reflect on how to implement specific change in their lives leading to growth and purpose. In my opinion, the difference between a successful and stagnant relationships is emphasis on reflection. I have experienced this frequently in both personal and professional relationships in my life.

Consider my story, during time in the military there was little to no emphasis on personal type of reflection. From the Private to the very top General situations were always dialed-in on the mission, actions, and debrief. I obviously know the importance of this type of mission-first mindset, yet I believe there is a connection with depression, suicide, and general unhappiness related to lack of understanding of reflection. In June of 2014 I left active service with the United States Marine Corps to search for answers to all the turmoil I was feeling in my heart. It took me 34 months before I was taught this "format for repair," as I like to call it. Knowing how powerful feedback can be is important. People have a habit of being overly critical if they speak impulsively. When giving feedback one must be genuine and try to remain objective with their critiques. This can be achieved by considering your intent versus impact. Basically, an individual could assume they are innocently giving useful feedback to another peer, but in reality the words and phrasing they chose ended up insulting and shutting down the other person to their feedback. As much as we try to hide it humans are sensitive creatures, so is important to also balance positive and negative feedback. Reflection, silence, and meditation consistently lead me to a place where I have become confident in myself and the capacity to care for others greatly.

"Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful. It's amazing to me how much we do, but how little time we spend reflecting on what we just did." - Margaret J. Wheatley, It's An Interconnected World